Stuff

So here's looking at you kid...
Sitting here in the institute listening in on some conversations that are going on, participating when I feel the need. I really have become bored with the internet in a lot of ways. I can't find any cool MMO's that please me, I never know what I want to look up, Facebook doesn't entertain me for very long periods of time, and it definitely doesn't satisfy. Odd that. So I just browse for things to do, and as I said recently, I remembered that I had this here and wanted to try it out for a bit.
So yeah.
So people are stupid. I know a lot of rather intelligent individuals, but people as a whole are really stupid. Case in point, the current administration. Voted in by ignorant and above all stupid people. I mean, seriously. I wanna see someone run for President without making impossible claims. I'd vote for him in a heartbeat, just for being honest. I mean, nothing else has really worked for us, so lets try something new: an honest and straightforward administration. Imagine this. The candidate's campaign promises are that he will do everything in his power for the good of the country and its people. The end. No promising to be out of debt in x amount of time or out of the war in y years or bullshiz like that. I mean, there is obvious a large amount of information about the way the government works and what we have available to us and how our relations are with the world that isn't privy to anyone until they become the president. A first-year rookie senator isn't gonna know beforehand what he's gonna be handed when he gets elected, plain and simple. I mean, he even made the official statement after being elected that he was aware that he'd made promises he couldn't possibly keep. I mean, lets get everyone out of Guantanamo right away. yeah right. I mean, seriously. Its like campaign promises made when people run for student body office at their high school. "I'll get vending machines put in every hallway and free pizza in the cafeteria for everyone!" Ummm.....duh. Not happening. Ever. But everyone votes that way cause they have this irrational trust in promises made by people running for any office. I have an idea. I'll run for president and just Topper my way through the campaign. My opponent says he'll reduce the debt? I'll claim that I'll turn the deficit into a surplus, start government industries to make money and give it to every citizen. No more taxes america! who wouldn't vote for that? I would...if I could be shown that it is not only viable but that its actually going to be done. Cause I make a point of using my God-given intelligence to rationally and logically think about the things people say to me. Duh.
-Z

it seems...

(song I wrote in my emo days)

It seems the sky grows darker every day

It seems as though this cloud will never fade away

It seems like it is always cold

It seems I have no choice

That I'll always be this way

And it seems as though I've lost you

It seems the you don't care

It seems that you're too far away

To hear my cries from there

It seems as though I'm all alone

It seems that my joy is gone

It seems as though I'll never love again

It seems my life will never be the same

It seems you weren't the one

And it seems as though I've lost you

It seems that you don't care

It seems that you're too far away

To see my tears from there

But it seemed that we were happy

It seemed that we had love

It seemed that there was something more

Something towards which we strove

And it seems we had perfection

It seemed there was no wrong

It seemed that we would last forever

But baby its been so long

And it seems as though I've lost you

It seems that you don't care

It seems that you're too far away

To feel my pain from there

And it seems that you're beyond my grasp

Beyond my sight, beyond my voice

It seems that you're retreating

Farther every day

It seems my heart is broken

And that is why I say

That it seems as though I've lost you

It seems that you don't care

It seems that you're too far away

Just too far away

Why'd you have to go so far

From me?

The nature of Reality

(song lyrics I wrote a long time ago)

Perception

The way we view reality

Senses

The means of experience

The paradigm

Of reaction is wrong

Our perception creates our reality

Cat in a box

Is it dead or not

There is no way to tell

Till we collapse the wave

Possibilities fade

And we're left with what we see

We view our world as matter

But its mostly empty space

Isolated energies

Each in its own place

The confusion we feel

Is easily healed

Once we understand that there's

A Cat in a box

Is it dead or not

There is no way to tell

Till we collapse the wave

Possibilities fade

And we're left with what we see

So open the box

Collapes the wave

Make a choice

Find your way

Open the box

Observe the state

Of your possibilities

Make a choice

Shift paradigms

And raise your voice

Use your will

To change the world

Short Story

This is based on the cover of Turn the Page by Metallica

On a long and lonesome highway

The roar of the motorcycle filled his ears, the only sound possible to hear through his helmet. His long hair blew out behind him in the night air

East of Omaha

The flatlands of Nebraska whizzed by him on either side, hardly a hill or ridge to break the monotony of the landscape

Listenin to the engine moaning out its worn-out song

The drone of the bike changed in pitch as he accelerated. Experience let him know that the bike was working fine, as it should be. His bike was all he had to care about, and all that seemed to care about him. His bike, and his music. He knew the better that he cared for the bike, the better care the bike would take of him.

You think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before

His nomadic life left plenty of women behind. Hed never found someone that would be happy living off the back of a motorcycle and in cheap motel rooms, never staying in one place for longer than a week. Only recently had this started to bother him, to eat away at his iron exterior.

But your thoughts will soon be wanderin, the way they always do

His mind wandered back to the reason and purpose for the way he lived, for his wandering. A face swam into the field of view of his minds eye, a beautiful face. Her eyes stared deep into his, a connection that was much deeper than mere physical attraction. Hed met her after one of his concerts, and, oddly enough theyd spent all night talking, discussing topics deeper than hed ever been able to talk about with another person. By the time the sun rose he knew he was in love, but she was gone. All he had left was a first name. Rory the word spoken aloud barely reached his ears but still reverberated deep within him. He didnt know where she lived or what she did or really who she was but he loved her.

When youre ridin 16 hours, theres nothing left to do

That had been three years ago. He had pleaded with his manager to delay the tour, give him a chance to find her again, but he had a schedule to keep. For the first 6 months he tried everything he could, phone calls, brief visits to the small town where he had met her, but all anyone could tell him was that she was a drifter herself, had only arrived a few days before he had and had left before his tour bus had rolled out of town.

And you dont feel much like ridin, you just wish the trip was through

That was when he had left the band, taking only his guitar and his share of the last concerts take. Hed bought the bike, helmet, leather jacket and chaps, and a backpack.

And here I amOn the road again

So now he traveled from town to town. Everywhere he stopped there was a club or a bar waiting, set up and ready for him to perform.

And here I amUpon a stage

He would plug in his guitar and play and sing and when he couldnt sing or play anymore hed go to tha bar and theyd give him food and beer and hed eat and drink until he was tired and theyd send him to a room.

And there I goPlayin the star again

Sometimes there was a girl or two who would talk to him, giggling and slapping at his shoulder. He didnt care. They didnt care who he was, only what he was, and they were never interested in coming with him, living his life so he turned away and eventually theyd give up.

And there I goTurn the page

And the next day he was gone again, off to the next place, his next destination in his search for her, the only girl he was sure he could love and live with.

So you walk into this restaurant, all strung out from the road

This gig, this town was so indefinable from the rest. He parked his bike, unstrapped his guitar and walked in through the door. The place was a dive, a diner and bar with a small platform in the corner with a microphone and an amplifier already set up.

And you feel the eyes upon you, as youre shakin off the cold

They always stared. His long hair and worn out and tired eyes seemed to captivate people, some enamored, some repelled.

You pretend it doesnt bother you, but you just want to explode

He always walked straight to the stage, never turning his eyes to either side. He wanted so badly to stare back, to silence the silent stares. But he didnt. He had a job, he had a mission. He didnt have time to bother with these people. He would entertain them and they would succor him and then their brief and unpleasant relationship would end. And if some changed their opinions of him, then fine. He didnt care.

and most times you cant hear em talk. Other times you can

There were always whispers, behind hands and across tables. Rarely did he catch the words being said, but on occasion someone would speak up, as if daring him to hear and respond.

All the same old clichés, is it woman, is it man

Most of the time it was a comment about his appearance, his hair, his clothes. He hated it, hated them for their intolerance, their cruelty. But he held his silence, content to merely finish his set and get on his way. These kind of people, the ones who spend their nights in bars and seedy diners needed someone to look down on anyway. It might as well be him. They didnt understand, nor would they. It wasnt his problem, not once he got started playing.

And you always seem outnumbered, and you dont dare make a stand

He reached the stage and took his guitar out of its case. He took as good of care of it as he did his bike. The guitar was his ticket to his travels, for it brought him the money and the food and lodging. Though he knew that if he swiped his debit card through an ATM there would be enough to buy most of the town, he took a certain pleasure from paying his pay his way through his travels. Everything he had, everything he did coming from within him.

Make your stand

And now here he was, on the stage, guitar in hand. He played a few notes, tightened or loosened the strings until the notes resonated perfectly in his ears. He took a deep breath. Here was where he would defy the universe, defy everyone and everything that oppressed him.

Out there in the spotlight, youre a million miles away

The music enveloped him, removing the years and the wear and tear, removing his cares and his sorrows and leaving peace, emptiness.

Every ounce of energy, youre tryin to give away

He always poured everything he had into the music, emotions and thoughts giving his song life and power.

As the sweat pours out your body, like the music that you play

These gigs took so much out of him, but maybe that was the wrong way to look at it. Rather, he put so much of himself into his performances that he never had anything left. When he was done hed stumble to the bar and eat and drink whatever was set in front of him, unable to taste or feel much of anything.

Later in the evening, as you lie awake in bed

He lay alone in the dark, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. His mind was empty, remembering nothing, seeing nothing, feeling nothing but emptiness.

With the echoes of the amplifiers ringin in your head

He couldnt remember anything of the evening except the music, the sound, the energy. He wasnt even sure which songs hed played, or if hed even played more than one. He never remembered. Wasnt even sure if he really knew any songs at all anymore. It didnt matter. No one said anything, and in the morning there was money and breakfast and the open road.

You smoke the days last cigarette, rememberin what she said

Once again, her face hove into view, unbidden but welcome. She hadnt been there, he was certain. He hadnt seen her, but hadnt really expected too. She was never there, and he sometimes wondered, despaired of ever finding her. His love for her had become a love for the hunt, for the search to find her. He loved her for this, for the all the pain and misery he felt this was a life that he had chosen, that he could so easily change, simply going back to his former existence. The band would take him back, and he could have a house and a bed again, could live as other people do. The fact that he could go back made this life all the better ,all the more worth it.

And here I am, on the road again,

And here I am, upon a stage

And there I go

Playing the star again,

And there I go,

Turn the page

And as he began to drift off into the empty sleep of one who has exhausted all emotion, the door of his room opened and she walked in, exactly as he remembered her.

And here I go, turn the page

Day Of Reckoning

Hanging still and silent

Motionless in the void

A vast armada lurks

Preparing for a war

Unseen, unsensed, unnoticed,

Until it is too late

The fleet begins its fatal run,

A day that has long been awaited

This is the day of reckoning

When armaments and skill are matched

This is the day of reckoning

A plan long ago hatched in the minds of madmen hellbent on domination

This is the day of reckoning

A day full of destruction

The darkness flashes with sudden light,

The first barrage let loose

the victim fleet caught unawares

Their defenses are of no use

Decimated, they regroup

To launch a counterattack

A thousand lazy, careless years

Their discipline grown too lax

And

This is the day of reckoning

When armaments and skill are matched

This is the day of reckoning

A plan long ago hatched in the minds of madmen hellbent on domination

This is the day of reckoning

A day full of destruction

Fire flashes in the endless night

Each burst a dozen lives

Eternal screams in an eternal void

Cutting him like knives

He arrives, leaps to the fray

His craft nimble and quick

Racing past flash-frozen corpses

The carnage makes him sick

But he swallows his misgivings

Sometimes you have to kill

In defense of friends and family

Oppressed beyond their will

Because

This is the day of reckoning

When armaments and skill are matched

This is the day of reckoning

A plan long ago hatched in the minds of madmen hellbent on domination

This is the day of reckoning

A day full of destruction

His arrival turns the tide

Victims become victors through his fire

The oppressor Navy, near destruction

Of the battle begins to tire

So they retreat to whence they came

Nursing a diminished fleet

Back to the dark corners of the galaxy

Defeat, a tang in the mouth bittersweet

This is the day of reckoning

When armaments and skill are matched

This is the day of reckoning

A plan long ago hatched in the minds of madmen hellbent on domination

This is the day of reckoning

A day full of destruction

This is the day of Reckoning

Darker side of me

In the deepest recesses of my mind there dwells a monster

A demon foul and unclean

A creature born of the darkness

Tempting for every dark thing

He feeds on my depression

Strongest when I am weak

And when he escapes from regression

His persuasion at its peak

Its then that I succumb

Give in to my adversary

Acquiesce to these temptations

From the darker side of me

And when I fall prey to my demons

And things fall out of my control

My actions then I will regret

I just want you to know

Its then that I succumb

Give in to my adversary

Acquiesce to these temptations

From the darker side of me

And now that I am back again,

Back to the me you knew

My actions beg the question

Who is suppressing who?

Cause

Its then that I succumb

Give in to my adversary

Acquiesce to these temptations

From the darker side of me

you know

You'd think that the content of my first entry would have logically led to a plethora of posts between then and now...wouldn't you?
I dunno what it is that keeps my from posting regularly. Just laziness, I guess. And yet, all the time I get to the point where I've checked my email, checked facebook, done my homework...and have nothing to do and I never think about writing in my blog. So random. And now I have little to say. I'll post a few songs that I have on my laptop here. Enjoy
-Z